


That Time Lance's Sister Made A Lance Compilation

by MagicalRainbowUnicornPuke



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Funny, I'm trying okay, Multi, Oneshot, hella short, idek how to tag, this is funny I think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 04:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12697566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalRainbowUnicornPuke/pseuds/MagicalRainbowUnicornPuke
Summary: Having older siblings sucks. Especially freaking evil ones who decide to torment you with your embarrassing childhood moments. More inside. Really short I know, this is a sweet and simple one.





	That Time Lance's Sister Made A Lance Compilation

**Author's Note:**

> So warnings: cursing   
> That's really all I have to say. I'm barely awake right now. I haven't slept for like two days. I'm sorry Jesus.

To be completely honest, life on a huge intergalactic palace/ship in the middle of nowhere (space), was kind of monotonous. 

Don't get me wrong, I think the fact that I am able to live this high adrenaline life and actually make a difference is amazing. 

But space... is kinda sorta... boring as fuck!

I'm not a huge space nerd like the gremlin- otherwise known as Pidge. Hunk is always baking (bless his soul). Keith is always training with the simulations. Shiro was doing... whatever Shiro did. And Allura and Coran were always making random repairs to ship. I was starting to wonder if there was actually any problems with the ship or if the resident Alteans were pulling this shit out of their asses. 

This left me... kind of just there with nothing to do. 

And as a kid who's been diagnosed with ADHD since I was four, this is no bueno. 

I was draped over one of the fancy chairs that were located in the control room, lazily watching as Allura ran about- piloting. 

Keith was sitting in another one of the seats across from me, tapping on the screen located there. 

Pidge and Hunk had just walked in, carrying Hunk's latest attempt of an alien bakery, when the entire front window of the room was filled with an incoming message. 

I choked on my spit, attempting to right myself from the half upside-down position I had been lounging in. 

The message consisted of a video which automatically began to play. 

Commander Iverson was standing there, looking as stiff and stern as always. 

"Katie Gunderson, Keith Kogane, Henry Garett, Lance McClain, and Takashi Shirogane," Iverson's gruff voice began, "We have received your messages regarding your situation."

I glanced over at Pidge, they've been trying to reach Earth for the past few months- at least to let our families know we're alive. 

"Once you've returned to Earth, there will be thorough questioning. However, as for now, we understand the gravity of the situation. Given how this is the first known interaction of human's with alien species, we've agreed to act cautiously. We have contacted your families, and let them know your well being." 

Iverson took a sudden deep breath... and looked a little green?

"As unorthodox as it is..." Iverson suddenly appeared to be incredibly uncomfortable, "We have been given orders to play this video."

The video then transitioned to a black screen, before a more than familiar face took up the frame. 

"Hey Lancey, since ya decided to be a complete dickwad and disappear literally off the fucking Earth- basically making the entire family shit a brick, I, your loving sister, have prepared the ultimate clap-back," Anita's smirking face said all this in a sickeningly sweet innocent voice that clashed violently with her borderline evil personality. 

I shot up from my seat, "Get it off! Turn off the video!"

Unsurprising, no one did shit.

"Oh and Pidge," Anita's face suddenly morphed into a kinder expression, "Call me sometime."

Pidge blushed, their entire face lighting up like a Christmas light. 

The video then started playing a compilation. A compilation of me epically failing. 

Tiny three-year-old Lance who gave himself his own haircut... a shaved crooked line straight down the center of his skull. 

There was me as a seven-year-old, attempting to manipulate Ratoncito Pérez into giving me gifts. I had my more than eager older brother smash my face with a rubber baseball bat in the hope that I'd lose a tooth. 

Spoiler alert: I only got a wicked bruise and a busted lip. 

Then there was stupid ten-year-old Lance who decided that it was an incredibly ingenious idea to climb a shaky old branch so I could jump off it into our Tio's pool. 

That was the first time I broke my leg. 

After that, a clip from my twelfth birthday party began. It featured young Lance being run over by a plastic battery-powered car with two of my younger primos in the seats, cackling wildly. 

Fifteen-year-old Lance who was in the kitchen when one of my older brothers decided to shove a spoon down my throat- forcing me to deep throat a kitchen utensil. 

And then sixteen-year-old Lance who has just come out of the bathroom - screaming - as my diabolical younger sister, Jazzymine, had switched my shampoo with pink hair dye. 

The rest of the video was various clips of minor falls, embarrassing moments, and dumb ideas. 

By the time the compilation ended my entire face, as well as my ears and down to my shoulders, was beet red. 

Anita's smirking face once again popped into view, "My dear, Lancey-poo, I do hope you enjoyed! Oh, and by the way, Mama told me to tell that once you get back it's your turn to do the dishes. You'll probably be doing them for the next year given how many turns you missed. Whatever, deal with it. Peace."

And with that, her smug expression faded into a black screen before the box transitioned back to the view of space from the windows. 

The Paladins stared at the spot where the video had just played, most likely replaying the video over in their heads. 

Slowly, one by one, they turned to face Lance. 

"So... what the hell was that?" Keith finally broke the silence. 

Shiro was about to admonish Keith for his language before he just sighed and shook his head. 

I shook my head before saying, "Anita probably blackmailed the Garrison into letting her send that video. She's freaking diabolical."

Pidge had stars in their eyes as they were probably imagining blackmailing with Anita or whatever it was that Gremlins daydreamed over. 

I decided to sneak out of the room before anyone decided to start teasing me about the videos. 

 

However, as I lay in bed later that night, I couldn't help the slow grin that was brought to my face.


End file.
